Reptile Forum, Reptile Classifieds - CaptiveBred

[Scott W]

> Jacques Chirac, The French President, is sitting in his office when his
> telephone rings.
>
> "Hallo, Mr. Chirac!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Paddy Down
> at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you
> that we are officially declaring war on ye!"
>
> "Well, Paddy," Chirac replied, "This is indeed important news! How big
> is your army?"
>
> "Right now," says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, "there is
> meself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbour Seamus, and the entire
> darts team from the pub. That makes eight!"
>
> Chirac paused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100,000 men in my
> army waiting to move on my command."
>
> "Begoora!" says Paddy. "I'll have to ring you back."
>
> Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
> still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!"
>
> "And what equipment would that be Paddy?" Chirac asks.
>
> "Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor,"
> answers Paddy.
>
> Chirac sighs amused. "I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks
> and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to
> 150,000 since we last spoke."
>
> "Saints preserve us!" says Paddy. "I'll have to get back to you."
>
> Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. "Mr. Chirac, the war is
> still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We have modified
> Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the
> cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us as well!"
>
> Chirac was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. "I must
> tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 bombers and 200 fighter planes. My
> military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile
> sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!"
>
> "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!" says Paddy, "I will have to ring you back."
>
> Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. "Top o' the mornin', Mr.
> Chirac! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war."
>
> "Really? I am sorry to hear that," says Chirac. "Why the sudden change
> of heart?"
>
> "Well," says Paddy, "we had a long chat over a few jars of Guinness,
> and decided there is no way we can feed 200,000 prisoners."
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Please DO NOT pm orders for reptiles, send email instead scott@captivebred.co.uk

[lol93]

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[Cleef]

haha
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Steve P