Reptile Forum, Reptile Classifieds - CaptiveBred

[Jas]

Forty gypsies arrived at the Gates of Heaven.
St Peter said ''Sorry, we've only got room for 12. You have to decide
amongst yourselves who is coming in.''Five minutes later, St Peter says to God '' They've gone''.
God said '' What, all forty?''
St Peter says '' No , the f**king gates"


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A young man called Derrick wanted to purchase a gift for his new
sweetheart's Christmas present. As they had not been dating for very
long,
after careful consideration, he decided that a pair of gloves would
strike
the right note, not too romantic and not too personal.
Accompanied by his sweetheart's sister he went to Harrods and bought a
dainty pair of white gloves. The sister purchased a pair of panties for
herself at the same time. During the wrapping the shop assistant mixed up
the two items and the sister got the gloves and the sweetheart the
panties.
Without checking the contents the young man sealed the package and sent
it
to his sweetheart with the following note:
Dear Maria,
I chose these because I noticed that you are not in the habit of wearing
any
when we go out in the evening. If it had not been for your sister, I
would
have chosen the long ones with the buttons, but she wears the short ones
that are easier to remove. These are a delicate shade, but the lady I
bought
them from showed me the pair that she had been wearing for the past three
weeks and they were hardly soiled at all. I had her try yours on for me
and
she looked really smart in them even though they were a little tight on
her.
She also told me that her pair rubs her ring which helps keep it clean
and
shiny, in fact she had not needed to wash it since she had begun wearing
them. I wish I were there to put them on for you for the first time, as
no
doubt many other hands will touch them before I have a chance to see you
again.
When you take them off remember to blow into them before putting them
away
as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing. Just think how many
lips will kiss them during the coming years. I hope that you will wear them
for me on Friday night.
All my love
Derrick.
P.S The latest style is to wear them folded down with a little fur
showing.