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lovesnakes Key Member

Joined: 10 May 2007 Posts: 323 Location: essex
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 7:05 pm Post subject: Ronnie barker?! |
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I'm not actually sure if this is legitimate or not?! but it's hucking filarious
In memory of Ronnie Barker....
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without a snigger (though g*d knows how many takes). Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read .....
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This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.
Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers;they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.
Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with
six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity.
At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.
The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fig bart.
"Who's fust jarted??" asked the prandsome hince.
"Blame that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk.
Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on.
He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly.
Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny. _________________ best of luck in the new season |
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Stuart Forum Clown


Joined: 27 Mar 2005 Posts: 16835 Location: Hertfordshire
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 7:12 pm Post subject: |
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 _________________
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MJ Site Moderator

Joined: 26 May 2006 Posts: 5738 Location: London
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Darky Contributing Member
Joined: 13 Aug 2006 Posts: 190
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Posted: Thu Jul 26, 2007 9:59 pm Post subject: |
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Thats brilliant!
James |
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Susie_L I've settled in...

Joined: 21 Jul 2007 Posts: 38 Location: Essex, UK
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Posted: Sun Jul 29, 2007 11:32 pm Post subject: |
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Laughed my ucking farse off so much I've now got a swimming pool in my living room!!! (well if Ronnie Barker can say it it must be ok!) _________________ Susie
3.4 Corn snakes, 3.8 Leopard geckos, 1.0 Bearded dragons, 0.1 White cat (the feline variety),1 excellent Husband and 2 wonderful (adult) children |
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PaulG Captivebred Colonel

Joined: 26 Jan 2007 Posts: 3996 Location: North West
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Posted: Mon Jul 30, 2007 12:57 pm Post subject: |
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 _________________ Regards, Paul.
:.Rhacodactylus.:.Eublepharis.:.Stenodactylus.:.Nephrurus.: |
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