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[Scott W]

The European Commission has just announced an agreement that English will be the official language of the EU rather than German (the other possibility). As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement, and has
accepted a 5 year phase in of new rules which would apply to the language
and reclassify it as EuroEnglish.

The agreed plan is as follows:

In year 1, the soft 'C' would be replaced
by 'S'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard
C' will be replaced by 'K'. This should klear up konfusion and keyboards
kan now have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome 'PH' is replaced by 'F'. This will reduse 'fotograf' by 20%.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to
reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre, that the horible mes of the silent'E' in the language is disgrasful and they should eliminat them.

By year 4, peopl wil be reseptiv to lingwistik korektions such as
replasing 'TH' with 'Z' and 'W' with 'V' (saving mor keyboard spas). During ze fifz year, ze unnesesary 'O' kan be dropd from vords kontaining 'OU' and similar changes vud of kors be applid to ozet combinations of leters.

Afterzis fifz year, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no
mor trubls or difikultis and evrion vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
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Please DO NOT pm orders for reptiles, send email instead scott@captivebred.co.uk

[jim_radley]

You've got to be kidding me?!