Reptile Forum, Reptile Classifieds - CaptiveBred

Scott W · Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 9:24 am Post subject: Wonder Drug.....

Do you have feelings of inadequacy?
Do you suffer from shyness?
Do you sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or pharmacist about alcohol.

alcohol is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident about yourself and your actions. alcohol can help ease you out of your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to do just about anything.

You will notice the benefits of alcohol almost immediately, and with a regime of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent you from living the life you want to live. Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past, and you will discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start living, with alcohol.

alcohol may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or nursing should not use alcohol. However, women who wouldn't mind nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness, loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration, dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may be a major factor in getting your ass kicked.
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Please DO NOT pm orders for reptiles, send email instead scott@captivebred.co.uk

Stuart · Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 9:32 am Post subject:

Thats one of your better ones!
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Peter Parrot · Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 10:37 am Post subject:

Spot on! I think I`ll try it then! Laughing

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FatBoy · Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 3:52 pm Post subject:

Sounds like a laugh, who's round is it? Laughing

Morbid · Posted: Sat Oct 14, 2006 7:19 pm Post subject:

Something connecting to the subject..: http://members.aol.com/matt999h/beer.htm
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*** Miqe ***

Assumption is the Mother of all f***ups.

beardie barmy · Posted: Sun Oct 15, 2006 10:33 pm Post subject:

that is so true lol but there is one thing I'm good at singing Laughing