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Old.. But still funny..

 
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Morbid
CaptiveBred Addict!


Joined: 14 Mar 2006
Posts: 878
Location: Sweden

PostPosted: Fri May 26, 2006 11:31 am    Post subject: Old.. But still funny.. Reply with quote

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 don’t seem to work anymore.

I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favourite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
A Troubled User.

---------------------------------------------------

Replay:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is developed by it’s Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this.
Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes dear” to alleviate software argumentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve to performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3.
This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Best of luck,
Tech Support
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*** Miqe ***


Assumption is the Mother of all f***ups.
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Scott W
Site Admin


Joined: 15 Apr 2004
Posts: 13355
Location: London, England.

PostPosted: Fri May 26, 2006 11:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing Laughing that's great!
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Please DO NOT pm orders for reptiles, send email instead scott@captivebred.co.uk
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Peter Parrot
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Joined: 15 Jan 2006
Posts: 5402
Location: Over the bridge

PostPosted: Fri May 26, 2006 2:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Laughing Laughing Very good!
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