Reptile Forum, Reptile Classifieds - CaptiveBred

lol93 · Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:24 pm Post subject: Ain't this the truth!

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:

6:00 am - At last! I got out to wee! My favourite thing!
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30am - Got rubbed and petted! My
favourite thing!
12:00pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
6:00 pm - They're home! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow!
Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing

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Excerpts from a Cat's Diary:

Day 983 of my captivity. My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre
little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the
other
inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although h I make
my contempt
for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat
something in
order to
keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again throw up on their carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
condescending comments
about what a "good little hunter" I am. s!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
tonight. I was
placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could
hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was
due to
the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use
it to my
advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving ar ound his feet as he was walking. I must try
this again
tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs. I am
convinced that the other
prisoners
here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He
is
regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
obviously
retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate
with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so
he is
safe. For
now...
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HerpCrazy!!! · Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:45 pm Post subject:

Ha ha you found my cat's diary eh? I could see Eddie Izzard performing that hehe Smile

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Licking this cane toad was the worst flippin idea you.............whoa man that penguin just put something in your pocket.

davo · Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 8:47 pm Post subject:

very good

sam · Posted: Mon Apr 16, 2007 9:23 pm Post subject:

Excellent-and as you say, very Eddie Izzard. His sketch about cats not purring but actually using drills is great... Very Happy

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